Shubh Deepavali….

Diwali. Evokes heaps of emotions. Emotions and me go back a long way. Satyu thinks I am too emotional and I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I think I live life when I live, I cry, I laugh, I feel, I hurt, I feel happy.

Years ago, Diwali always symbolized peace for me. Of course it still does. But to an 8 year old peace means much. At least it did to me. We were at least 15 people all living together under the same roof. Three men, their wives and progeny, a matriarchal grandmother, another grandmother who was widowed when she was 9 yrs old ( not kidding, she was my grampa’s sister)!

Although I have never admitted it freely, there was only one villain. The one discordant in the balance of life. Because of her, there would be skirmishes, arguments, general unrest in the house. Anyway this post is not about her, it’s about the peace hence this is all I will say about her without attributing too much importance to her!

So other days, it was like walking on egg shells around my house. Don’t know what will erupt, who will erupt or who will be the target. Cloak of negativity would always be surrounding everything around us, like permeating sweat! Omnipresent.

But come Diwali, it would be magical. We would all make the Diwali faral together, no groupism, no bullying, just sitting together and making food. And then in th evenings, light diyas all around the house, from the exteriors to the interiors!!! The “kandeel” which promised eternal peace. I would simply walk in and out of the doorway to soak the light it emitted. Every year different ones, sometimes sparkly, sometimes shiny, colorful, sometimes made of white thermocol, sometimes card paper! But the same light, the same brilliance once lit.
Exchanging of gifts, visiting families, small joys then were my big saviors! After a long long long time, I am feeling the same peace. Of being safe, of being enveloped by the love of my people, of being blessed by some nice people in my life, through different walks of life. Cousins, friends, sisters, fathers and mothers (yes, plural), and other mates. Peace…. It’s just right there, or here, it’s up to us entirely how we perceive it!

May you find the peace you seek… Happy Diwali!!