I love reading Mr Bachchan’s tweets ( I know some of you will think I am “bollywood smitten”, well I am not!! But sr AB is really an exception)!! So I have decided to dedicate this post to him. Its sort of an open letter to him, sorry IT IS an open letter to him!
I am not sure if you are ever going to read this, but I am going to write as if I have written to you!
My very first memory of you is you in the red shirt dressed as a “coolie”! Just seeing you on that little screen( we were one among the lucky few to have a color EC tv) would set my heart racing! You were, correction: you are (*blinks coyly) my heart throb since I was 7 at least! All my dear ones know how much I love you. I have bored everyone to death with how I would block the tv screen and stand with my arms spread eagled and bawling “no one can look at MY Amitabh”! I remember being the target of jeering from my teenaged cousins then! I would tell Dad that when I am older I am going to marry you 🙂
When you sing ‘dilbar mere’ to Miss Hema Malini in Satte pe satta it makes me feel ( even now) that you are looking at me and singing it for me ( well I pretend that you are) and of course I go all weak in the knees and melt.
There was a lean phase I remember, when there were movies like Jaadugar, Ajooba, Lal Baadshah etc, people had written you off, people around me would talk down and say “He should retire now”! But Sir I have dragged my dad to the theatre to each movie of yours and watched them always cheering you and praying that all goes well!
I have cried with you in Indrajeet, Sharabi, Khuda Gawah, laughed with you in Satte pe Satta, Namakhalal and so many other movies.
Having said this Sir, I havent done anything extra ordinary like I hear fans usually do, just that I have loved you(still do) and prayed for you!
I havent written your name in blood, nor have I waited for hours together outside your home in Juhu! I dont have your pictures stuck on my bedroom wall, I havent had your name/picture tattooed on my arm/neck or any other part of my body!
Yes I have watched all your movies, I have prayed when stuff was not that great for your, I have rejoiced when I would occasionally spot you in Andheri/Juhu since I am a Mumbaite!
I have to share this incident with you though!
Once me and Satyu ( my boy friend then,my husband now) were near the Shaan flyover in the West,as we neared the bridge Satyu said “Oh look there go the Bachchans”, I thought he was kidding! I am not sure but I think it was a landrover, golden(really not sure) ish car! I dont know if you know this but many people seem to know which cars you have and the number plate so it can be distinguished! So I pooh poohed him thinking he is pulling my leg! This made him speed up the bike just so that he could prove it to me that it was you! To my sheer amazement it was indeed you sitting in the front passenger seat with Abhishek B driving the car. I was in drunken stupor on seeing you and to top it Satyu rode exactly parallel to you! Now if I was a crazed fan I would have screamed/hollered/ pulled some weird faces/ stuck out my hand or something equally courageous(outrageous I say) to attract your attention! But I am one of your weird kind of fans, no Sir, I dont mean the stalker kind of weird but am someone who is shy when put in a spot like that. I wouldnt look at you and Satyu screamed at me, “now why arent you looking at him? Why arent you smiling at him?” I was so in a shock and it embarrassed me at the same time to let you think “Oh here is another crazy person gawking at me”! Frankly I would find it strange if strangers gawked at me! I think you are truly incredible to live under so much pressure all the time! However I slightly tilted my head and sneaked a quick look at you and couldnt help grin like an idiot(something I wanted to avoid)! And you, graceful as always looked at me,slightly smiled and waved your hand at me! Sir, that moment I tell you, I knew what it felt like dying and going to heaven and coming back! ( Sorry that was the second instance, the first time was when I met Satyu 😛 )
You also looked at us and then did a double take( I will explain later,in due course why I think you must have done it)!
I couldnt help gushing about it to all and sundry.
I have one dream now, and that is too meet you! I am sure I will be speechless but I would still love to meet you and hug you at least once in my lifetime!
I wish you all the luck with your life and health and may the Gods and Goddesses bless you always with the choicest blessings! Love you Sir!
Also I consider myself to be a very special fan of yours as God has been kind to me and has given me a husband who has loads of similarities to you when he keeps a French beard! In fact our friends say he resembles Abhishek B( so this is my theory of you doing that double take that day when we rode along side you)!
I am not crazy, Sir but an ardent fan of yours!!
Until we meet….
Here is a small something that I want to dedicate to you and my husband:
A special thanks to E E Cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
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